Amoko y’imibonano mpuzabitsina ku bashakanye

Ijambo ry’Imana rigira riti ” Ntimukimane keretse ahari musezeranye igihe, kugira ngo mubone uburyo bwo gusenga, kandi mwongere guhura Satani atabagerageresha iruba ry’imibiri yanyu. 1 Abakorinto 7:5

Inkingi ya mwamba yo kubaka urugo ku bashakanye ni imibonano mpuzabitsina dore ko inahabwa akabyiniriro ngo ni ugutera akabariro, kubaka cyangwa gusana urugo, n’ayandi.

Hari agakuru kavugako abantu batajya babura impamvu zo kunywa inzoga. Iyo bashyingira baranywa kugirango bishime, bashyingura bakanywa byitwa gukaraba. Uwateye imbere anywa yishimira aho ageze naho uwagize ibibazo akanywa ngo abyibagirwe.

Umuhanga umwe witwa Lopsam yanditse igitekerezo yerekana ko burya imibonano mpuzabitsina hagati y’abashakanye iri mu moko anyuranye dore ko ikorwa bitewe n’impamvu zinyuranye. Ni inkuru yanditse mu cyongereza ishyirwa mu kinyarwanda na Biramahire Francois ufite impamyabumenyi yo ku rwego rwa kaminuza mu byerekeye imiti ukunze kwandika inkuru zerekeye ubuzima muri rusange, imibanire, imirire iboneye, indwara n’imiti.

Reka turebere hamwe ayo moko anyuranye nkuko uwo Muhanga yabigaragaje.

1. Imibonano yo kwiyunga

Abakuru bavugako umugabo n’umugore biyungira mu buriri. Niba havutse ikibazo mu rugo, ikigaragaza ko mwababariranye ndetse mwanyuzwe n’imyanzuro mwafashe ni uko muzahita mukora imibonano niba mufite akanya cyangwa se mukaza kuyikora iryo joro. Ndetse irushaho kuryoha iyo uwakosheje ariwe ufashe iya mbere mu gusaba ko bikorwa.

2. Imibonano yo kuvura no guhumuriza

Nibyo wabisomye neza imibonano ivura Indwara zimwe na zimwe cyane cyane izijyana n’amarangamutima nka stress, kwiheba, agahinda gasaze, isindwe (hangover), umutwe n’izindi. Iyi mibonano bisaba kuyikora buhoro buhoro nta kikwirukansa kandi bigasaba kuyikora munaganira. Murangiza umurwayi yumva yorohewe. Gusa ku mutwe ho bisaba kwitonda kuko hari igihe aho kuwuvura wawongera.

3. Imibonano y’igihano

Abagore benshi usanga iyo bagiranye akabazo n’abagabo babahanisha kutabaha umwanya wo gukora imibonano aho usanga aryama kare cyangwa wanamubwira ko ubishaka akakuka inabi. Hari n’abagabo bateye batyo yaba afitanye akabazo n’umugore akaba atabikora akemera akajya hanze. Aha uba wabyishe. Imibonano ni igihano burya kandi igihano kigamije kwiyunga no kugarura urukundo. Niba umugabo yagukoshereje, mukiryama musabe ko mubikora ndetse narangiza umubwire ko ukibishaka. Iyi mibonano uwakosherejwe bisaba ko aba afite ingufu kugirango igende neza kandi iyo irangiye akenshi ikurikirwa n’imibonano yo kwiyunga.

4. Imibonano itibagirana

Gukora imibonano ni ibintu bisanzwe mu bashakanye ariko hari imibonano mukora ikabasigara mu bwenge. Iyi mibonano ikorerwa hanze y’urugo. Mu bushobozi bwanyu, byibuze buri gihembwe mufate weekend imwe musohoke, mushake aho kurara mwenyine. Mwongere mwibuke bya bihe, mucane twa buji tw’amabara anyuranye, niba muzi koga mwoge, mukine se ubundi muze kujya gukora imibonano mwese mubishaka kandi nta kirogoya n’imwe. Iyi mibonano nta kabuza, izahora yibukwa kandi muzajya muhora mwifuza ko mwongera gutembera.

5. Imibonano itunguranye

Abakoresha indimi z’amahanga bayita couple-sang. Iyi ni imibonano akenshi idakorerwa mu cyumba cy’uburiri aho kenshi umugabo ayitunguza umugore bitewe n’ibihe barimo. Mushobora kuba mugiye koga ugahita ubikora, mushobora kuba mwasohokeye ahantu hasa n’ahiherereye ukabikora, mu gikoni wabikora, mu gashyamba mwatembereye, mu modoka ukayiparika akanya gato…
Iyi mibonano kuko iba itunguranye ntitinda, kenshi iminota 2 umugabo aba arangije, mukikomereza gahunda zanyu. Iyi mibonano iba imeze nk’iyo gusembura, kuko nyuma muhugutse muyikora neza noneho

6. Imibonano ya siporo

Birazwi ko abagabo bose mu gitondo bakanguka igitsina cyabo cyafashe umurego. Mu gihe udafite akazi kagusaba kuzinduka cyane, iki ni igihe cyo gukora imibonano ya siporo kuruta ko wabyuka ujya kwiruka usize umugore mu buriri. Iyi mibonano abanyarwanda bahaye akazina k’inzingakirago ni imibonano ikorwa mwese mwaruhutse, mwaraye hamwe, bivuzeko muba muri mu mwuka umwe.

7. Imibonano yo gutera ubutwari

Iyi ni imibonano ikorwa kenshi mbere yo kugira ikintu runaka gishyashya gikorwa n’umwe mu bashakanye. Ashobora kuba agiye mu kizami cy’akazi, ashobora kuba agiye gupiganira isoko, gushaka permis se, mu rubanza, …
Kora uko ushoboye mbere yuko agenda mubanze mukore imibonano. Bituma agabanya stress muri we kandi akagenda afite akanyamuneza kuko aziko ashyigikiwe. Aho kumubwira amagambo y’urucantege ngo ubundi se ubu ntigafite nyirako, ngo ubu se ko udafite ruswa birakunda, … wowe mutere akanyabugabo mukora imibonano.

8. Imibonano y’igihembo

Nyuma yo gutsinda ikizami, kuzamurwa mu ntera, cyangwa kubona ikintu mu buryo butunguranye, kurenzaho imibonano ntako bisa. Iyi mibonano kugirango irusheho kuryoha ni byiza kubaza ugiye guhembwa uburyo ashaka ko ikorwamo, aho ashaka ko ikorerwa, n’igihe ashaka ko imara, inshuro muri bukore. Nibyo erega ni igihembo, afite ibyo akunda nibyo agomba guhabwa

9. Imibonano yo kubyara

Aha ho ntituhatinda kuko ishingiro rya mbere ryo kubana ni ukugira ababakomokaho. Biba byiza iyo iyi mibonano ikozwe mu buryo butuma umugabo yinjira neza ndetse n’umugore afite ububobere buhagije dore ko intanga zikenera ahantu ho kogoga hatose kugira zigere aho zijya neza. Ni byiza ko nyuma yo gusohora umugabo adahita akuramo igitsina ahubwo akirekeremo akanya, muruhuka munaganira.

Aya ashobora kuba atariyo moko yonyine abaho ariko niyo twabashije gukusanya. Si ihame ngo yose abe akorwa mu rugo, kuko hari akorwa bitewe n’impamvu runaka. Icyangombwa ni ukumenya ko imibonano nta gihe itakorwa, kuko ni umurunga hagati y’umugabo n’umugore.